Funny Quotes About Life Bring a bit of humor and laughter They help us to ease the mood was bad and if it’s useful to break the routine and ice harm happen to us and it’s nice to share with friends and relatives, as Victor Borge once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people”
Funny Quotes About Life
1# My tom tom says “Estimated Arrival Time.” I hear “Time to Beat.”
2# When I say I laughed out loud, I really mean that I made a kinda loud outward breath through my nostrils, similar to a bull. – Funny Quotes About Life
3# Potatoes wrapped in tin-foil and kept in a cupboard become a welcome consolation if your house burns down.
4# I almost forgot to update my status that I’d been to the gym.What a waste of a workout that would have been!
5# I’d been with my girlfriend for around 3 years, when I finally popped the question. Why are we still together?
6# My wife felt me because I’m dyslexic. – Funny Quotes About Life
7# It was no good, the judge had made his mind up. “Please, you don’t understand. I have six children and a wife. I can’t go back in there, it’ll kill me,” I pleaded. “I’m sorry, Mr. Smith,” the judge replied, “but you have served your time and you are now a free man.”
8# I can’t wait for tonight.
A bunch of my mates are coming over to play on their phones.
9# My bank is the worst. They’re charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can’t even afford to be broke.
10# Does anybody else become irrationally scared and reluctant to answer calls from a withheld number and then spend half of the day wondering who it was and what they wanted?
11# We live in strange times.
Kids run wild and dogs go to obedience school…
12# Lighten the mood if you are ever in a car crash by replacing your air-bags with confetti today.
13# I feel like the people who hand out leaflets are really saying,
“Here, throw this away for me.” – Funny Quotes About Life
14# I was so angry when my Blackerry stopped working today I was gonna start a riot!
But then I remembered I had a Blackberry, so i couldn’t
15# I’ve often wondered if the world will be inhabitable in 3039 years time. I think it’ll be 5050.
16# You’d have thought that Goths would have realised that dressing the same as each other isn’t non-conformist.
17# Heat magazine… For all the hot gossip on the hottest celebrities. Sickipedia… For all the sickest jokes on the cold celebrities.
18# This new phone tariff is a bit steep, every time I plug the phone in it tells me it’s charging.
19# It’s all well and good people praising Gareth Bale, but has every one forgotten that his mum puts cats in bins?
20# My mother-in-laws brand new wheelchair has far too many moving parts for my liking. Her heart & lungs for example. – Funny Quotes About Life